It has, in many ways, been a very difficult year. The diagnosis of Fibromyalgia was both a relief and a life sentence. It was a relief because I finally had a name for the fatigue, pain, inability to concentrate, low tolerance to stress and sleepless nights. This hodgepodge of symptoms that had been plaguing me for 4 years actually had a name. On the other hand, fibromyalgia sounded very permanent, and I did not want permanent... I wanted a quick fix. It really took me a year to come to the point that I realized that I was stuck with this diagnosis. Now what the heck was I going to do? This life sentence started to feel like a death sentence. Oh my gosh, could I really live like this. It became more difficult to work as a nurse. The stress was becoming to much to handle. This from someone who was always known as being able to keep many balls in the air. Give me a task and 50 people, no problem, I'd get it done and done very well. No longer was this easy. I still had the desire to work but my body would not cooperate.
Then something happened.I realized that I had given up the battle without a fight. That certainly is not me. I am a warrior, ready to step to the front lines. What had happened to my confidence and my knowledge of who I am and what I am able to accomplish? I decided to stand. I made a decision that Fibromyalgia would not manage me. I would manage it. I would learn to be free.
